Friday, November 11, 2005


I think that everyone should have at least one great love in their lives, unfourtunatly I have never had that. Have I loved, yes but was he the one great one no, he was my first love in every way that that is possible. But I dont think that he was my great love he has been my only love in my 23 years of exsitance. I think love is one of those things that hits you hard, you never see it coming, and dont know what the hell is going on when you are in the middle of it.

Am I looking for love hell no I dont think that you should go looking for love that is where people make their mistakes. (although you can go looking for a date) Love is something instant hence the term fall you dont expect to fall you just do. I just get dissapointed when people take advantage of love because they dont understand the concept or the meaning of love. There is one basic concept it has to be unconditonal, love is so different for everyone but I think that is something that is a constant.

I also think that you only fall in love once people are so quick to throw around the word that they cant possible really be in love because it is not a figure of speech or something should slide off a person's tounge like they are going to get milk. I know that I said before that I have loved but it was something that was conditional because I am no longer in love. I think that love comes from a person's soul because the other person has gotten that deep. Think about it once someone has gotten that deep it is hard to let them go they have become a part of you, when they hurt you hurt when they are happy so are you. It is almost an obsessive thing because you can feel that person when they are not there, or the mare thought of them can brighten the darkest day.

Love is when you look into that person's eyes and see yourself because you are truely in their heart, and nothing you say or do will make that go away because they love you. Love can never be explained it is really one of those things that is just because, you shouldnt be able to sit and explain why you love someone. Love should leave you speechless. ( although a good case of lust can do the same)

I know that I have been in complete and utter lust for only too people ( we see how one ended up) but the other I hook that shit lock stock and barrel. I was not playin I made it up in my mind that I want that man (ok boy he was kinda young, legal though just barely) and I had him a few times on different occassions. I tend to do things just to see if I can get away with them, in most situations I do, but when I dont it pisses me off. I secretly become very obsessive over the situations and go ver it in my head. Because I want to know why I did not get my way I will replay shit over and over in my head to the point that my head will start to hurt.

To be honset I dont think that Iwill ever be in love I dont think that it is in the cards for me.


Post a Comment

<< Home